sometimes i marvel at the passing of time; how long it has been since we first met each other back in tpjc.
remembering the times we spent roaming from classroom to classroom and trying to spot our eye candies on the way (at least u guys trying to spot him for me), going over the jingfang's place and meddling with the balcony, working on projects which were really excuses to slack and talk crap, our pizza outings, gift exchanges, gossip about what's going on in school...
come to think of it, it wasn't really much compared to the memories we have with other older pals. but i always thought this clique in tpjc is by far the most impressionable one in all my years. not because we did alot of memorable things together, or because we shared 2 years and counting of friendship, but rather, it's the very fact that 4 people with personalities and backgrounds as diverse as the four of us can actually get together, and be sharing this blog today.
i often wonder if it's the differences we have that seem to make us less close to one another than we ought to be. like we are always conscious of what we say, what we do and how we do things... but i also often think that we can afford to closer to one another. at least, that's what i hope to achieve-- to be able to be a better friend to you guys, instead of just a girl with smart grades and guaiguai behaviour who just happened to be in your clique back in JC. someone who can share your troubles and worries, and be one of the ones you would actually consider turning to during bad times.
seriously, i don't think any of you has truly confided in me before. actually, nor did i ever.
when i talk about you guys with my friends, they always say that it's because of the way i look, and the grades that i have, and the primandproper behaviour that i carry, that may have made you guys less open to me than usual. i've been trying very hard to overcome that image, by talking lots of crap and stuff, though sometimes i think it really contributed more to ruining my image more than helping to improve it. personality crisis, heh.
this is not a post where i complain about the lack of affability i have. rather, this is a post to convey my regard for you guys, cuz i know i don't always show it.
to huichun:
initially, it was hard to accept the fact that we're going to the same school because i always thought there was a conflict in our characters. not a bad bad conflict but rather-- trying to break away from the stereotype you have in mind has always been a problem for me. looking at the way things are now, the times with you also kind of opened my eyes to alot of things. so i say, thank god huichun's my roomie.
to jingfang:
your considerate and loving character has always helped to make me feel better. i really don't like to rely on anyone if i can help it, but there are some moments that i'm quite helpless about too. i'm thankful that it might be in your nature to be so sincere, that sometimes it seems like you’re never unhappy at all. but we know that’s not true, and that’s not possible either. i just hope you’ll have someone to help sort things out when you need it.
to lynette:
among the 4 of us, you’re probably the one that I understand the least. i’ve been trying to get to know you better, really, but there always seems to be a boundary somewhere and i can’t figure how to get rid of it. like right now i feel that just calling you and asking about how you did for the A’s but i’m also hesitant to do so. i think it’s just me lah, much as i try to be a friend that you can trust and rely on, i’m always failing to do so. sometimes i’m kinda aware that i’m giving you a lot of stress too, but please believe that it was never deliberate. lynette ong may not be the smartest or the most perfect girl around, but even with her demerits she’s definitely one of the few friends I hold dear, more than many many others.
you know, somehow, I get this question a lot:
“so what’s the best thing about your JC life?”
“… to be honest, it’s not macey, it’s my happy family.”
welovemrgay ;;
3/18/2008 05:30:00 PM <3